Bard Test II

Prompt:
Write an episode of star trek in the style of three’s company

Sure, here is an episode of Star Trek in the style of Three’s Company:

Scene: The bridge of the USS Enterprise. Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy are sitting at the command table.

Kirk: Mr. Spock, what is the status of our mission?

Spock: We are on course to rendezvous with the USS Excelsior at Starbase 11.

Kirk: Excellent. And what about the away team?

Spock: They have successfully completed their mission and are returning to the ship.

Kirk: Good. I’m glad to hear that.

McCoy: I’m just glad they’re back. I was worried about them.

Kirk: They’re fine, Bones. They’re just fine.

The door to the bridge opens and the away team enters. They are all wearing Starfleet uniforms and are carrying various equipment.

Kirk: Welcome back, team. How was your mission?

Scotty: It was a success, Captain. We were able to repair the damaged subspace relay and restore communications to the sector.

Kirk: Excellent work, Mr. Scott.

Chekov: And we also discovered a new planet that is a potential candidate for colonization.

Kirk: That’s great news, Mr. Chekov. I’ll have Starfleet send a survey team to investigate.

The away team takes their seats at the bridge.

Kirk: Now, let’s get back to our mission. We have a rendezvous to make.

Scene: The rec room of the USS Enterprise. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Chekov are sitting around the table, playing cards.

Kirk: So, what did you guys do on your shore leave?

Scotty: I went back to Scotland and visited my family.

Chekov: I went to Moscow and visited the Kremlin.

McCoy: I went to Hawaii and relaxed on the beach.

Spock: I went to Vulcan and visited my parents.

Kirk: Sounds like you all had a good time.

Scotty: We did, Captain. It was much needed.

Chekov: I’m glad we’re back on the ship, though. I missed it.

McCoy: Me too. It’s good to be home.

Kirk: I know what you mean.

The group continues to play cards.

Kirk: So, what’s next for us, Mr. Spock?

Spock: We are scheduled to rendezvous with the USS Excelsior at Starbase 11.

Kirk: Excellent. I’m looking forward to seeing Captain Sulu again.

The group continues to play cards.

Scene: The bridge of the USS Enterprise. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy are sitting at the command table.

Kirk: Mr. Spock, what is our status?

Spock: We are approaching Starbase 11.

Kirk: Good. Open a channel to the Excelsior.

Spock opens a channel to the USS Excelsior.

Spock: This is the USS Enterprise. We are hailing the USS Excelsior.

A moment later, the image of Captain Sulu appears on the viewscreen.

Sulu: Captain Kirk, it’s good to see you again.

Kirk: It’s good to see you too, Captain Sulu.

Sulu: What brings you to Starbase 11?

Kirk: We’re here to refuel and resupply.

Sulu: I see. Well, we’re happy to have you here.

Kirk: Thank you, Captain Sulu.

The channel is closed.

Kirk: Mr. Sulu is always so welcoming.

Spock: He is a gracious host.

McCoy: He’s also a great captain.

Kirk: I agree. He’s one of the best in Starfleet.

The group continues to sit at the command table, talking and laughing.

The end.


The episode opens with the three main characters, Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, sitting in the rec room of the Enterprise. They are all bored and looking for something to do.

Kirk: I’m so bored. There’s nothing to do on this ship.

Spock: I could always play some music.

McCoy: Or we could tell stories.

Kirk: Stories? Like what?

McCoy: I don’t know. How about a story about the time we got lost in the Delta Quadrant?

Kirk: That was a good one. But I’ve already heard it a million times.

Spock: I could tell you a Vulcan story.

Kirk: A Vulcan story? That sounds interesting.

Spock: It is. Once upon a time, there was a Vulcan who was very wise. He could solve any problem.

Kirk: That’s a great story, Spock. But I’m not sure it’s appropriate for the rec room.

McCoy: Why not? It’s a good story.

Kirk: Because it’s a Vulcan story. And Vulcans are very serious.

McCoy: So? We’re on a spaceship. We’re all serious.

Kirk: I guess you’re right. Go ahead, Spock. Tell us the story.

Spock: Once upon a time, there was a Vulcan who was very wise. He could solve any problem. One day, a ship came to Vulcan. The ship was from a planet that was at war. The people on the ship were asking for help. The Vulcan agreed to help them. He used his wisdom to solve their problems. And the war was over.

Kirk: That was a great story, Spock.

McCoy: I told you it was a good story.

Kirk: I’m glad you enjoyed it.

Spock: I am glad that you enjoyed it.

The three friends continue to talk and laugh. They are no longer bored. They have found something to do.


Scene: The bridge of the USS Enterprise. Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy are sitting at the command console.

Kirk: Mr. Spock, what’s our status?

Spock: We are on course for the planet Zortex, Captain. ETA is 12 hours.

Kirk: Good. I want you to start running a full diagnostic on the warp drive. I don’t want any surprises when we arrive.

Spock: Aye, Captain.

Kirk: Dr. McCoy, how are our passengers?

McCoy: They’re all doing well, Captain. A little bored, but otherwise fine.

Kirk: Good. I want to make sure they’re comfortable.

McCoy: I’ll see to it, Captain.

Kirk: Thank you, Doctor.

Scene: The crew quarters of the USS Enterprise. Jack Tripper, Janet Wood, and Chrissy Snow are sitting on the couch, watching TV.

Jack: So, what are we going to do on Zortex?

Janet: I don’t know. Maybe we can go sightseeing.

Chrissy: Or we could go swimming in the ocean.

Jack: That sounds like fun.

Janet: Yeah, it does.

Chrissy: I’m going to go pack my swimsuit.

Janet: Me too.

Jack: I’ll be right behind you.

Scene: The planet Zortex. Jack, Janet, and Chrissy are walking along a beach.

Jack: This is amazing!

Janet: I know, right?

Chrissy: It’s so beautiful here.

Jack: I could stay here forever.

Janet: Me too.

Chrissy: Me three.

Scene: The crew quarters of the USS Enterprise. Jack, Janet, and Chrissy are back from their trip to Zortex. They are sitting on the couch, talking about their adventures.

Jack: It was so much fun!

Janet: I know, right?

Chrissy: I can’t wait to go back someday.

Jack: Me too.

Janet: Me three.

Scene: The bridge of the USS Enterprise. Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and Dr. McCoy are sitting at the command console.

Kirk: Mr. Spock, what’s our next destination?

Spock: We are scheduled to visit the planet Vulcan, Captain.

Kirk: Excellent. I’m looking forward to seeing my old friend, Mr. Spock’s father.

Spock: I am sure he will be pleased to see you, Captain.

Kirk: I’m sure he will.

Spock: Aye, Captain.

The End.