Category: Family

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Baseball Begins?

I think the 2017 season started for me when the 2016 season ended.  I just didn’t realize it until just now.

I’m a sports fan.  I love the beginning of each season of whatever sport it is at the moment, from football to hockey to soccer.

But baseball… it never stops.  Even before I started playing table top sports again back in 2014, I’d always have some kind of baseball game on one of my game consoles, and play a game or two, shortly after the season ended.  I’d monitor what was going on with the Giants and Mets during the Winter Meetings.

And right now, I’m watching MLB Network, having started with a show about the first Hall of Fame class in 1939, then a round table show about this year’s Hall of Fame candidates (Tom Verducci is still a jerk), and now watching a show about Mike Piazza.

Piazza started his career as a Dodger, so of course I hated him.  Him being a Dodger *catcher* made me hate him more.

*glares at Mike Scioscia*

When he became a Met, I still hated him.  Until that day we were gaming at Glenn’s house while a NASCAR race was on.  Jeff Gordon was back deep in the pack, and I said that if he won the race, I’d start rooting for Mike Piazza as a Met.  Gordon went on to win, and I reluctantly started rooting for Piazza.

Then came the Clemens beaning.  I was never a big fan of Rocket Roger, so when he hit Piazza in the head, and then later threw a shard of a bat at him in the World Series, I became a huge Piazza fan.

What truly cemented me as a fan was September 21, 2001.  The home run Piazza hit against the Braves.  They just showed it on TV, and I got chills and started crying again.  It was one of the best moments I’ve experienced as a baseball fan.

I say ‘one of’ because, as I had that epiphany that I mentioned at the start of this, so too do I realize that there will never be one ‘best’ moment as a fan.

  • watching a rookie named Dwight Gooden pitch in his first All-Star Game
  • all the milestone home runs Barry Bonds hit, many of them in person
  • Willie McCovey’s last game, sitting with my grandpa
  • the last out of the 2010 World Series
  • Johan Santana pitching the first Mets no-hitter
  • attending World Series games with my long-time childhood friend
  • having my aunt take me out of school to attend Opening Day with her and my grandpa
  • the Sunday doubleheaders with the family, in General Admission, Section 28
  • attending the first Star Wars Day at AT&T Park with my nephew

The list goes on and on.

I’ve seen so many ‘best moments’, and will probably see more in the seasons to come.

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Repost: Birthday

My sister asked me what I wanted to do for my 50 birthday.

I haven’t answered yet. Because I don’t really know the answer.

I’d like to do… something… with friends and family, I suppose.

Here’s the thing: I have not been in a serious relationship in forever, so in those many years, nay, decades, I didn’t get a sense of what’s socially correct for such milestone birthdays. Hell, I spent my 41st birthday at WonderCon, which I really enjoyed.

I never went to other friends’ birthday celebrations because for the most part they were smaller family affairs. I didn’t have a significant other to plan or throw a party. I had my sisters organizing gatherings and dinners, mainly with family, which were fun, too.

So I’ve been stuck with the mindset of a non-adult in regards to a gathering for my 50th birthday. I want pizza. But I always want pizza. I want friends and family around.

Fully catered? Pot luck? Just how many people are we talking here?

I had a surprise party once, for my 16th birthday, and that seems to be the last time I had a birthday party.

I don’t know if I want a party. I think I do, because that’s what I pretty much described, with the friends and family and pizza thing.

Cake? Sure. I like German chocolate, but I know many who don’t like coconut. A cake in the shape of the Millennium Falcon? Or the Starship Enterprise? The TARDIS?

A themed party was mentioned, which I’d be fine with, because it may not be what an adult would want, but it’s what I would want.

An 80’s party? Everyone must come in costume/period clothing? Star Wars/Trek?

This isn’t a baby/wedding shower so I would not want to have any games like the ones you’d expect at such venues.

And because I’m semi-clueless, I don’t know what to do/have as entertainment, so people aren’t bored. I suppose there could be music, but I’m not much of a dancer, but I wouldn’t stop others from doing that.

As far as time, perhaps afternoon/early evening? You get older, you can’t stay out late, and many folks have kids who shouldn’t be up so late anyways.

Thus ends my stream of consciousness regarding this question.

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Eventful

The last week has been rather eventful, both good and bad.

The CW successfully showed that a multi-night multi-series crossover with superheroes can work.  And it was awesome.

At work a division director was ‘retired’, and a coworker was lost in the Oakland warehouse fire.  And through all that, I’ve actually managed to stay sane.  Angry and upset, but sane.

And other stuff happened.

Right now I’m focused on getting through the rest of this year, with Rogue One and Christmas waiting in the next couple of weeks.

Here’s to an uneventful rest of 2016.

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Fear?

A couple of weeks ago I reactivated my account on Coffee Meets Bagel, a dating app.  After a few days of interaction, the same thing happened that caused me to shut down that account in the first place: no new ‘bagels’ for me to check out.

So last week I downloaded and created a new account on Match.com’s phone app.  About a day later my mailbox had about a dozen or so ‘likes’ and messages from some women, but of course they want you to subscribe in order to find out who they are or read the messages, and frankly I’m wary of that, because this same thing happened on eHarmony, I think, and it was bullshit, there were no actual messages, and the ones who did ‘like’ my profile never responded to messages that I sent.

I promptly shut down the Match.com account.

It always happens around the holidays: I get some hair up my nose or bug up my ass to go find possible companionship, even though I’m fine being alone for a good 9-10 months out of the year.  This year was no different.

But this time I’m questioning myself about what it is that I want right now.  Do I actually fear the idea of being in a relationship?  Have I finally convinced myself that I am no longer boyfriend/husband/father material?

I believe I answered that a while back when I said that I was broken.  Broken in that I’m not a dateable person anymore.  I think I stopped being that a while ago.  I’m good at being an uncle, but the idea of having my own kids, especially at my age, is not something I think I could be good at anymore.

The last time I dated someone was in 2010.  That was the girl who I met at a screening of Indiana Jones films, who suggested going to a comic book store during our first actual date, and who I couldn’t keep a relationship going, even with our common interests.

I think I am scared.

Scared to inflict myself on another person.  Scared to open myself up to another person.  Scared to share myself with another person.

I’m going to be 50 next year.  My plans for the year, especially for my birthday, are totally up in the air.  For the past 30 years or so I’ve spent my birthday with friends and family in a myriad of venues.  And I am forever appreciative for that.

The one thing that hasn’t happened in that time is, simply, spending birthday time with a significant other, who may have planned something for you because they know you would appreciate it.  I don’t have anyone like that in my life, and maybe that’s all that I’d want.  But I’ve lived without for this long, so I shouldn’t expect anything different for my 50th.

And what happens in the next 30 years scares me even more.