A couple of years ago I introduced Dad to Person of Interest. He liked it right away. We would watch a couple of episodes every few weeks or so, maybe every two months.
We got to the introduction of Shaw in season 2 before Dad passed away. I wish he could have seen the rest of season 2, when the finale actually took place in Hanford, Washington’s nuclear plant, where he worked while he and Mom lived up there.
Today I got to Season 3, episode 9, where I experienced the biggest TV shock since Marie Warner shot her fiancée on 24.
And I cried. Mostly for what happened in the story, but also a good cathartic cry for my Dad.
That cry seemed to clear my head and shook me out of a funk I’d been feeling for a couple of weeks now.
And I came to a decision about something.
I’m not going to move to Sacramento.
There’s a position open in our agency’s office up there. I was supposed to go up there these past couple of days to check it out, but a sore back stopped me from going Wednesday, and Thursday I didn’t feel well in the morning.
Maybe this was a sign.
I figured stress was responsible for both days, and once I sat down and made the conscious decision to no longer consider the Sacramento move scenario, I felt a great weight lifted from me.
I have enough to deal with around this house, disposing of so much of Dad’s and my own stuff, I don’t feel that the added stress of moving was needed.
I felt that I needed to move out of this house ASAP, partly because of the constant reminder of where I found Dad on the steps, every time I walk by them. But over the past couple of weeks that feeling has lessened. I’ll always have that painful memory, and the time will come when I will move out of here, but that time is not now.
For the moment, I feel less stressed than I’ve been in a couple of months.
I still need to go see a therapist to cope with grieving, but I think I made some headway on my own.