aka Blog v4.0
Even at 58, I go through periods of self-doubt, times when I wish my parents were there to talk me through it.
Most of the time I just push it aside and go about my business.
Sometimes I get a message through media.
Parents aren’t for telling their children who they’re supposed to be.
We are here to give y’all tools, help you make fools of yourselves all on your own.
No.
Your choices, Clark. Your actions. That’s what makes you who you are.
I’ll tell you something, son.
I couldn’t be… [sniffs] …more proud of you.
Thanks, Pa.
Miss you, Dad.
As I type this, it’s been maybe a couple of hours since I finished watching Tales of the Underworld, the latest animated offering from Star Wars.
And I’m still a bit of a wreck.
The first three episodes featured fan-favorite Asajj Ventriss, while the last three episodes featured another fan-favorite, Cad Bane.
All the episodes were good, but when I got to the final episode and realized what they were doing, I simply could not believe it.
Minor spoiler here, but basically they were paying tribute to High Noon.
Which is one of my Dad’s favorite movies. The one that both of us would stop what we were doing and watch if we found it playing on some TV channel.
There so many scenes in the episode that echoed the movie.
By the end, I was tearing up, but smiling, and about an hour later, thinking back on the episode, I began to sob and totally lost it.
Dad’s death anniversary is a week away, a day before Mother’s Day this year, so that combo would inevitably do me in emotionally, but of course it triggered a week early because of Star Wars.
While watching a reactor’s first viewing of the original Star Wars today, I was reminded of something I asked my Dad when I was 10:
“What was your favorite part of Star Wars?”
Dad told me that he liked the part where Luke blew up the Death Star.
I think he would have liked this episode of Tales of the Underworld, even though he didn’t watch much of the animated shows.
And to be totally honest, I felt him there, watching that episode with me, as we always did with High Noon.
When I was 14, I first saw the movie Raiders of the Lost Ark, and it left the biggest impact on my life.
I’d find myself watching it whenever it came on TV, and sometimes I’d switch to my own copy on tape or disc if the commercials started to annoy me.
It was one of the films that my Dad would stop to watch as well.
Other films in that category are The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly (or at least the final confrontation scene) and High Noon.
I noticed that Dad seemed to have the same admiration for High Noon that I had for Raiders.
After Dad passed away, I figured out that High Noon had come out when *HE* was 14.
So I’m left wondering if this movie had the same impact on him at that age, as Raiders did on me.
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, man.
Preseason, 1993, Giants Fan Fest (or what they held prior to Fan Fest):
They set up tables for autographs and I stood in a different line than my sibs.
After waiting in line for about 30 minutes, I left the line I was in and stood with my sisters in another line.
A few minutes later, the players started to come out and sit at the tables for autographs. I can’t remember if we were in line for Darren Lewis or Royce Clayton.
The line that I had left?
Willie Mays started signing.
I was kicking myself (and continue to do so to this day) because I missed my chance to meet my Dad’s favorite player of all time, and possibly get a picture with him and an autograph for my Dad.
Later when I told my Dad what happened, he just kind of shrugged and said that it was okay. But I was (and still am) upset with myself because even 31 years ago, Willie Mays was a big frickin’ deal to me.
He still is a big deal to me, even though I actually have no memory of seeing him play with the Giants.
Rest in Peace, Say Hey Kid.
I saw Raiders 6 times in the theatre in 1981, at least once with my parents.
It really is.
You never know how you’ll react when a memory strikes you.
This is especially true on the anniversary of certain events.
I woke up knowing what today is, and felt oddly calm.
It wasn’t until I got up and walked past the spot where I found him 4 years ago that the feelings, emotions, anxiety returned.
And that’s all I’m going to say about this today.
Miss you, Dad.
Found a whole bunch of slides in the garage today.
These are stamped APR71 to JUN71.
I have no memory of this, but when I was really little, maybe even before I was born, my Dad would play chess in the company chess club. He’d play on Friday nights, and according my Mom, when he’d get home, late, he’d still be down in the living room or dining room, setting up a chess set, and studying it, looking where he made a mistake that cost him a match. I don’t know how long he would do that, couldn’t be more than an hour. Or two.
Flash forward to now:
We played Dungeons and Dragons online last night, and the first thing I do when I get up this morning is futz around on Roll20 and DNDBeyond, looking at my newly leveled character and figuring out how to make spells work correctly from the online Roll20 character sheet.
I did that for about 2 hours before I realized what time it was, and took a shower.
Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I guess.
* * *
I do like the online tools for D&D, but I miss face to face interaction.
